Introduction from Grown-Up Sarah Mack 11 Years Later
Hello all!
My name is Sarah Mack, and I am the director of the Seoul SPARKS program in Korea. I have been working in international education in Korea for many years now, and I actually came to Korea as a high school exchange student myself back in 2013 when I was fifteen years old! More than anything else, I love helping ambitious high school students study abroad in Korea and have amazing educational experiences here.
A lot of students ask me how they can talk to their parents about the possibility of studying abroad in Korea, and even more than ten years later I often refer them to this video I made at sixteen after completing my year abroad. Even now that I am an adult, I think this video actually has some decent points in it! So here is the video in its unfiltered glory, as well as a transcript below.
Enjoy!
From,
Grown-up Sarah Mack
Transcript - High School Study Abroad in Korea (Convincing Your Parents)
Hey there guys, it's me, Sarah, from SarahsSeoulSearch.
One of the top questions that I get asked by viewers is how I convince my parents to let me go on this journey. I get the feeling that many of you think that I was able to drift some walls all over Korea, that there was absolutely no resistance from my family, and that they were totally supportive from the start.
Let me make myself clear. Up until the very last minute, my parents had pretty much decided that I was not, am not, and would NEVER be going. So honestly, it is a miracle that I was able to go at all. I tried just about every strategy in the books with them, complete with nervous breakdowns, arguments, and all that fun stuff.
I had to learn mainly through trial and error, but you're lucky, because I'm going to tell you what does and doesn't work when you bring up a possibility of exchange to your family.
First and foremost, do not just ask them on a whim outright. As most people know, what one says to their parents and what they actually hear can be two very different things.
So if you walk up to your mom or dad and say,
"Hey, can I be an exchange student?"
They hear,
"Hey, can I go, by myself,
to a foreign country,
to live with strangers,
and possibly get kidnapped or tortured or killed,
...for an entire year?
:D"
Unsurprisingly, most parents that I know would respond to that sort of question with a resounding no, and try to prevent you from bringing up the possibility ever again.
Remember guys, parents are delicate creatures. You have to break this sort of thing to them slowly.
Now, the best way to prevent your dream from getting shot down before you have a chance to even explain it is to do your research ahead of time. Take a few days or even weeks to research several programs that might be a good match for you. Get facts about each organization's prices, departure dates, interviews, application procedures, student experience, etc. You'll want to have as much information as possible available off the top of your head when your parents start bombarding you with questions.
If you don't know the answer to something that they ask, don't pretend that you do and make a guess. If you're mistaken, especially about things like fees, departure dates, and program policies, it can cause way more drama than it's worth in the future.
Have the contact information of a program representative at the ready so that when a question comes up, you and your family can make a call or even set up an appointment together.
But before you do any of that, you need to ask yourself, why do you want to go abroad?
Reasons like,
"Because I want to meet lots of hot foreign guys."
"Because I'm obsessed with EXO," and
"Because I want to meet lots of hot foreign guys who *look like* members of EXO."
might make sense in your head, but they won't sound very promising to your parents.
Even if the reasons I described are motivating factors, you'll want to be able to list some other benefits. If not for yourself, then at least for the sake of your family's sanity.
Think hard about how doing an exchange would impact you. It really is a life-altering experience. How would the benefits of exchange help you in high school, college, your future career, for the rest of your life?
What about the area you're interested in attracts you? What opportunities would you have there that you wouldn't be able to find anywhere else in the world? These are important things to consider. After all, if you don't want it enough, it's going to be hard to make your parents want it for you.
And now for the most important and nerve-wracking part. The asking itself.
My advice is quite simple, really. Don't ask at all.
Now hold up. I'm not saying that you should just pack your bags and fly halfway across the world without ever telling your parents. That's just messed up. And illegal. But hear me out.
Instead of approaching the conversation like your parents have to make a decision anytime soon, simply open up the possibility of exchange for discussion - without asking them for anything at all. After all, if you don't ask, they can't say no, right?
Listen to your parents' questions and concerns. 99.9% of the time, they really are looking out for your best interests.
Come prepared with all the information you found in the research stage, organized into some sort of physical format that you guys can look over together and that they can look at later by themselves. I actually ended up making a PowerPoint and presenting it to my parents.
While it might sound over the top, it really helped me organize my thoughts and show the parents that I was serious about making this exchange year happen. I wanted to give them the best information available so that we could make the best choice for me. (Hopefully one that involved me going abroad).
But that's not quite the end of it. It's one thing to talk about becoming an exchange student, but you have to show them that you're capable of making your exchange year happen. Do as much on your own as you possibly can. That is, raising funds, filling out applications, scheduling interviews, applying for scholarships, and adjusting your schedule at your home high school.
It's a lot of work. But remember, the more you do on your own, the fewer reasons your parents will have to pull the plug. Keep in mind that most exchange organizations start accepting applications about a year prior to departure, so you'll have to start making changes and talking to your family as soon as possible.
Another important thing to consider is how your exchange will affect things like college applications, standardized testing, getting your license, etc. I took all of my SATs, filled out all of my applications, and did a couple of my interviews while I was still in Korea. However, if it is at all possible, I highly, highly, highly advise you against doing that. Trust me, it is way more trouble than it's worth. Trying to get a recommendation out of a teacher who lives 10,000 miles away under a 14-hour time difference is no easy task. And the stress that it causes really does take away from the exchange experience.
This means that you're probably going to have to start preparing for college earlier and working harder than your peers.
It will be difficult. But remember, this is the life that you accepted when you decided you wanted to study abroad.
Being an exchange student is fun, but it is also really, really difficult. Your parents won't be able to help you much while you're a world away, so you have to prove to them and yourself that you're capable of being responsible, making good decisions, and carrying them out.
Even though we initially disagreed over whether or not sending me to Korea was the best thing to do at the time, my parents and I have definitely come to the conclusion that allowing me to study abroad was the best thing that they could have ever done for me.
It was very, very difficult to get there, and even harder after I arrived, but I can honestly say that I don't regret anything. I'm eternally grateful to my parents for everything they've done for me, and all the ones that will follow in my footsteps.
Thank you so much, Mom and Dad! I will never be able to thank you enough.
So, who else here says you've got to study abroad? Where are you going? And what programs are you looking at? Let me know in the comments section below.
To learn more about my exchange in Korea and my plans for the future, make sure to subscribe and check out all the other videos on my channel.
As always, thank you so much for watching. I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon.
안녕! Bye!
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