Korea is a relatively safe country, but when you're a high school student studying abroad, it can sometimes be hard to know how to keep yourself safe. When you are new to a culture or language, sometimes it can be difficult to identify what behaviors or phenomena are just a cultural difference vs. bad or abnormal behavior. To alleviate this, we made this list of things that are normal (or not!) in the US vs. in Korea. If you think of any extra things we should add to this list, please let us know!
Things that are Normal and OK in Korea, but not in the USA (High School Study Abroad Edition)
Bumping into people in crowded places without saying excuse me
In crowded areas of Korea such as Seoul, personal space can be limited. Light physical contact in crowded places like subways or markets is often unavoidable and typically goes unacknowledged without the expectation of an apology. If someone bumps into you when getting off the subway, they probably don’t hate your guts. If you accidentally brush someone while running to your exit, you don’t need to turn around and apologize. Of course, if you hit someone so hard that something falls out of their hand or they let out an audible groan, it’s always nice to apologize and help them pick up their things, but otherwise you can just keep going about your day.
Asking someone’s age right away
In Korean culture, you literally need to know someone’s age in order to know how to speak to them with correct honorifics, so people will often ask you your age right after they meet you.
It’s also worth noting that there are two ways of calculating age in Korea - 한국나이 or “Korean age,” and 만나이 or “International age.” Whenever I share my age people always ask me if I mean Korean age or international age anyway, so I usually just tell them my birth year (구십칠년생 or 97년생) so they can calculate it themselves.
Since exchange students that come to Korea prior to college are pretty rare, keep in mind that a lot of people might assume that you are in your 20s or older when they first meet you. The calculus basically goes like this:
“They’re a foreigner from America, so they’re probably an English teacher.”
“Since they’re probably an English teacher, they’re probably a college grad.”
“Since they’re probably a college grad, they’re probably at least 22.”
One problem that I faced when I was here at 15 is that people would often assume I was older than I was, and sometimes this led to awkward or frustrating situations.
For example, one time I was participating in a “silent” water gun fight with a bunch of friends from my high school in a local park, and the first person to yell lost the game and would get soaked by the other girls’ water guns. Unsurprisingly, the game eventually devolved into us screaming and running around, and one of the nearby residents came down to complain. She repeatedly yelled at me for being a bad influence on my “students!”
I also used to have to fight with the bus drivers to get my student discount on public transport because they had trouble believing that I was really a high school student and not just an English teacher that really liked wearing my school’s uniform for some reason. Now you can just register your age on your transportation card by presenting your passport at any convenience store, but being perceived as an adult was sometimes frustrating!
My advice is to make it clear to new people that you are a high school student as quickly as possible to avoid any misunderstanding.
[90 Days Korean] How to ask and Explain Age in Korean - Link
Commenting on people’s appearance
It's not unusual for friends, family, or even colleagues in Korea to make observations or comments about one's appearance, or clothing as a form of concern or interest, whereas such remarks might be considered personal or sensitive in American culture. However, even this has a limit. If someone is saying that you have a “high nose,” a “clean forehead,” or a “small face,” they are trying to compliment you. Even commenting that someone “looks sick” or tired can be a genuine way of showing interest and concern for your well-being, although it might feel a little backhanded or awkward at first.
However, if someone repeatedly makes comments about your face, body, weight, or something else and it is making you uncomfortable, it might be time to ask a trusted adult for some advice on how to handle the situation.
Letting the door close behind you
Due to the fast-paced lifestyle and emphasis on efficiency in Korea, it's less common to hold doors open for the following person. It might be a bit surprising the first time someone lets a door slam in your face, but try not to take it personally! It’s not because they hate you - they’re just in a rush, and this is not something that is expected culturally.
On the flip side, don’t get stuck holding the door for strangers (unless they are pushing a stroller, holding a lot of bags, are elderly or disabled, etc.). Most people won’t really understand why you’re doing what you’re doing, and might be a bit confused!
Slurping noodles
In Korea, slurping noodles is not only acceptable but can be considered a compliment to the chef and a way to show that you are enjoying the food. In the USA, slurping is generally viewed as poor table manners.
For my friends with misophonia (a disorder in which certain sounds trigger emotional or physiological responses that some might perceive as unreasonable given the circumstance)... I advise that you invest in a good pair of noise-canceling headphones or earbuds.
Saying that something is “difficult” instead of “impossible”
The first few times that someone at school, the immigration office, etc. told me that something I asked for would be “difficult,” I was confused. Was it difficult and they just didn’t want to do it?
But in Korean, “difficult” usually means that something cannot be done - at least not at that time. Picking up a prescription at 5:32 when the clinic stopped taking new patients at 5:30? Difficult. Starting work at a company in June when they would rather have you begin in April? Difficult. Putting you in the Level 3 class when the proficiency test indicated that you’re at Level 2? Difficult.
When a Korean person tells you in these types of situations that something is “difficult,” they usually mean that they can’t or don’t want to do it. It doesn’t always mean that their decision is correct - but knowing this can make your interactions with administration a lot more pleasant and efficient.
Brushing your teeth at school or work
A lot of Koreans brush their teeth three or more times every day, once after every meal. Girls at my high school in Jeonju had toothbrush holders on the wall where they would keep a brush and some toothpaste for after lunch, and could often be seen brushing their teeth while scrolling through their phones or flipping the pages of a textbook between classes.
For some reason, as an American, I viewed teeth brushing as the kind of hygiene activity that people do in the privacy of their own homes, but it’s very common for people to brush their teeth in public.
Rigorous separation of recycling and garbage into 12+ categories
Nearly every non-German or Japanese foreigner I know in Korea has experienced some kind of “trash trauma” - when they were scolded (usually by a 경비아저씨, or a (typically middle-aged male) security guard at an apartment complex) for not sorting the recycling properly or putting something in the wrong bin. I grew up in a rural area of Virginia where people couldn’t recycle even if they wanted to - heck, most people had to drive their own garbage to the dump themselves if they wanted it off their property.
Going straight from that into learning how to separate “vinyl” (plastic bags) from “plastic” (hard plastic containers) from PET (plastic bottles) was a big struggle for me, and is a consistent source of frustration among Koreans towards the local foreign population.
To maintain good relationships with the Koreans in your community and avoid accumulating piles of recycling in your home that you have to sneak out to dispose of under the cover of night, I advise you to familiarize yourself with the local recycling system in your local gu (district) and learn how to distinguish between the different types of recycling.
When in doubt, look for the labels inside the recycling symbol on most packaging. Oftentimes, it will tell you how to dispose of the item.
Leaving your bag or phone unattended
At cafes and restaurants, Koreans frequently leave their phone, bag, or even their laptop on the table to hold their seat when they go to the counter to order, head to the bathroom, go for a smoke, or even go on hours-long rendezvous around the neighborhood. When they return, their items are usually left untouched - even if the cafe owner may be slightly miffed that the person was taking up valuable retail space that could have been used by other customers in the meantime.
This is one of my favorite things about living in Korea - theft is rare, and if you drop an item somewhere either intentionally or accidentally, you are very likely to find it exactly where you left it when you return. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t keep an eye on your items; while stealing is uncommon, that doesn’t mean it never happens! But this is definitely a difference between Korea and your home country during your time here.
A common joke in Korea, seen above:
“When a bag, cell phone, laptop etc. gets left without its owner at a cafe -
Foreigner: I want to take that stuff…”
Korean: I want to take that seat…”
Normal and OK in the USA but not in Korea
Assuming that people speak English
In the USA, it’s often assumed that people speak and understand English since it’s the primary language used there and around much of the world. While Koreans typically learn English from elementary school until high school, you shouldn’t assume that everyone is comfortable using it. When resorting to English with Korean people, especially if they are random strangers on the street, make sure you ask whether English is okay before launching straight into asking them a question.
On the flip side, even though Korean is, naturally, the most common language spoken in Korea, a lot of Koreans might not assume that you speak Korean even if you can. Don’t be surprised if a lot of people try to speak to you in English the first time they meet you. Most people mean well; they are trying to make your time in Korea more comfortable, and the fact is that a lot of foreigners don’t speak Korean fluently - to the point that until quite recently, you could essentially become a minor TV celebrity simply for being able to have high-level conversations in the language.
However, if you want to improve your Korean as much as possible during your time here, be wary of spending too much time with people who insist on speaking English with you even if you’re able to hold your own in Korean. Lots of Koreans want opportunities to practice their English - and that is totally okay! However, they have tons of places to learn English in Korea, while you are likely going to be much more hard-pressed to find opportunities to practice Korean after you return to your home country. You didn’t come all the way here to be someone’s free English tutor, so don’t do that if you don’t want to!
Talking to strangers
At least when I was growing up in the US, it wasn’t uncommon to make small talk with the cashier at the grocery story, chat with the person in the school nurse waiting room, or exchange a knowing glance with a stranger on the DC metro after someone in our car suddenly did a backflip or started playing loud music out of nowhere. This happens much more rarely in Korea, and especially in Seoul. In a city with a metro area containing 25 million people, you couldn’t possibly talk to every person you meet in a day, so people mostly keep to themselves.
Keep this in mind when approaching Koreans that you don’t know to ask for directions or some other kind of information. This on its own is fine and normal, so don’t feel too bad about doing this (especially if you ask in Korean or make sure they are comfortable talking in English first), but you aren’t expected to linger and make small talk afterwards.
Be wary of Koreans that come up to you and “ask you for directions,” try to start a conversation with you, or offer to give you free Korean lessons or introduce you to “traditional Korean culture.” This is not at all typical in Korean culture, and these behaviors are often associated with fringe religious groups who try to recruit people - and often foreigners - on the street. They frequently approach people in pairs and carry an iPad mini or a clipboard, so if you see these things just walk the other way.
If you end up in a situation where someone is talking to you and you don’t want to start or continue a conversation, simply walk away. Don’t pretend you don’t speak English, don’t try to reason your way out of it; these people are trained to keep pestering you (sometimes using a shockingly large array of languages and techniques) until you give in. Just stay silent, walk away, and ignore them.
Touching and hugging people not in your immediate family
Heck, a lot of Koreans don’t even hug their own parents. It’s not a touchy-touchy kind of culture. In the US, it’s not uncommon to greet friends, acquaintances, or sometimes even total strangers with a hug or a pat on the back, but this is not at all typical in Korea - especially between members of the opposite sex.
Sometimes my girlfriends at school would hold hands, link arms, sit on each others’ laps, etc., but this is practically unheard of between unrelated people of different genders who were not in a romantic relationship. So maybe don’t hug members of your host family right away (although this might become okay sometime closer to the end of your time in Korea).
On the other hand, if someone (especially someone who is older or who might be attracted to someone of your gender) is touching you more than is absolutely necessary, please know that this is not typical in Korean culture, and consider bringing up the subject with an adult that you trust. There is always a chance that it’s just a misunderstanding, and in that case it can hopefully be cleared up with a little explanation. However, remember that if someone (especially an adult) is actually a good person, they will never get mad at you for advocating for yourself, expressing a need, or communicating a boundary.
Clothes that expose chest and shoulders:
In the US, it’s not uncommon to see people in tank tops, sheer fabrics, and other more revealing clothing - especially in the summer. While Korean fashion is ever-changing, it remains relatively conservative compared to the styles observable in North America and Western Europe.
Short skirts and shorts can commonly be seen on women in the summer (and sometimes even in winter!) Koreans tend to keep their shoulders and chests covered at virtually all times. Low-cut tops, visible undergarments, and frat boys prancing around in nothing but a pair of shorts are things I have almost never seen on Koreans during my eleven years in and out of this country. Crop tops are not all that unusual, as long as they have sleeves or are worn with a garment that covers the shoulders.
Even at the beach and at water parks, Koreans tend to cover up more than their counterparts in other parts of the world. See below:
Foreigners aren’t necessarily held to the same standards as Koreans when it comes to dress, but perhaps keep these things in mind when you’re packing outfits to wear in Seoul. Tank tops, V-necks, and sheer fabrics (for men and women) however fashionable, might best be paired with a light cardigan or even left at home.
Writing someone’s name in red ink
This is a total non-issue in the US, but in Korea it’s essentially a death note. Traditionally, Koreans have only used red ink to write a person’s name to signify that they are deceased, and using red to write the name of a person who is alive is like saying you want them dead - so make sure to choose your pens carefully!
If a foreigner accidentally uses the color red to write a name, a lot of Koreans won’t take it super seriously and will chock it up to simply being unaware of this tradition, but it’s better to avoid it whenever possible.
Standing chopsticks up in rice
Scenes in American TV shows often depict mid-20s characters down on their luck eating Chinese takeout out of a container of rice with the chopsticks sticking straight up out of it. This is a big no-no in Korean culture - and in East Asian culture in general!
Chopsticks standing up in rice are thought to resemble funeral incense, so when your chopsticks are not in use, just balance them on top of the bowl, place them next to your plate, or use a napkin or chopstick rest to place them down beside your food.
Wearing shoes inside the house
Many Koreans are absolutely horrified by scenes in American dramas and movies where characters jump into bed or sit curled up on the couch while still wearing their sneakers.
Even as someone that grew up in a “shoes-on” household, I am no longer able to ignore this when I watch shows produced in the US, and I never wear shoes inside my own home. Why would anyone want all the germs and goo from outside on the street anywhere inside their house?!!
Every Korean home, no matter how small, will have a dedicated place to put your shoes when you enter the house, so always remember to take them off.
Even if it's just to quickly dash across the room to grab your phone or your wallet after leaving them on the kitchen table, take your shoes off before going back in the house. Every single time.
There are virtually no exceptions to this rule; it is seen as extremely rude and disgusting to wear your shoes in the home - especially someone else’s home - even for a moment.
Taking your shoes off and putting them on again several times in a day can get quite cumbersome, so I advise you to leave your lace-up Docs at home and come prepared with slip-ons, Velcro, and other shoes that you can take on and off easily.
Tipping
In the US, not tipping is almost seen as a cardinal sin, and rightfully so - the tipped minimum wage has remained a paltry $2.13 an hour since 1991. Forgetting to (or refraining from) leaving an extra 15 to 25% on the table when you leave an American restaurant will result in judgmental comments from your dinner guests at best, and the server chasing you down in the parking lot to demand their gratuity at worst.
However, in Korea it is not at all customary to tip, and the recipients of your well-meaning tips will likely be confused or even offended or embarrassed if you try. Tipping isn’t a thing almost anywhere in Asia, and tipping 20%+ on a restaurant bill is practically unheard of outside of North America, so just take the win by simply paying the price on the menu and leaving!
Pointing with a finger
When showing someone directions, and especially when pointing out a person, it’s best to avoid pointing using your index finger, as seen above. This can come off as flippant or rude. Whenever possible use your entire hand (or even better - two hands!) to do the same thing.
Talking loudly on public transportation
Talking on buses or trains, whether in person or on the phone, is more accepted in the US. In Korea, however, people try to keep public transport quiet. It’s not quite to the level of Japan; even Koreans will sometimes discreetly engage in a phone or personal conversation on the bus or subway. However, you should not have loud group conversations or talk so loudly that people 3~4 seats away can hear you.
Not normal or OK in either the US or Korea
Adults befriending or hanging out with teenagers
Adult-minor friendships between teenagers and people in their twenties and above are not normal. Even if nothing bad is happening and everyone has good intentions, it is extremely unwise and inappropriate for both parties (but especially the older person) to engage in such friendships.
Examples of this include getting meals, going to karaoke, or meeting up without the knowledge or presence of adults in the program. If you hear that another student has been spending time alone with adults, you should let a staff member you trust know right away. Basically, if your gut is telling you that something seems weird, it probably is.
This also applies to program affiliates. If you suspect that a teacher, host family member, staff member, or anyone else is spending unnecessary time alone with a minor or engaging in inappropriate behavior with a student, you should alert an adult that you trust right away. There may be a legitimate explanation - in which case, great! But if there isn’t, you could help a fellow student avoid a dangerous or harmful situation and ensure that the adult in question stops any inappropriate behavior and, if necessary, no longer has access to impressionable minors.
Using or encouraging the use of alcohol or drugs
It is illegal for anyone under the age of 19 (the Korean age of majority) to consume alcohol, cigarettes, and other similar substances under any circumstances. Using, possessing, selling, or even being anywhere near essentially any other types of drugs (even those consumed recreationally in the US) can end in deportation at best and imprisonment at worst.
Minors are also typically not allowed to go into clubs, bars, or other establishments that make most of their income from alcohol sales. Remember that you are guests in Korea, and that you need to be on your best behavior and to respect all local laws and regulations in addition to those of your program. It’s not worth risking your program status (or even your immigration status in Korea) to engage in illegal activities that - frankly - aren’t even that fun.
I have heard of many situations where students who drank, snuck into clubs, or engaged in other activities, and regretted it.
Some of them got caught, were sent home, and were stripped of their NSLI-Y or other program’s alumni status. Some of them got stuck in dangerous situations that they couldn’t handle because they were too afraid to call a responsible adult for help for fear of getting in trouble. Some of them simply discovered the honest-to-God truth that sitting around and getting drunk for no reason is kind of lame.
I don’t know of a single person - not one - who regrets not doing these things as teens while abroad.
Mark my word, all that stuff will still be here if you want to come back in your twenties. But you’re not in your twenties. So do us all a favor and just don’t. I don’t want to deal with it, you don’t want to deal with me dealing with it, and I don’t want to deal with me dealing with you dealing with me dealing with it.
For the record, if you’re ever in trouble, even if it’s because you made a big mistake, I will help you get to safety - period.
But then I will be very annoyed and I might have to send you home. That’s not why I got into this line of work. So please, please don’t do this to me ㅠㅜ
Swearing, yelling, hitting, intimidating, bullying, and other aggressive behavior
Some things are universally regarded to be unacceptable, and for good reason. If anyone - Korean or not - is engaging in activities that make you feel fearful, intimidated, or unsafe, tell a trusted adult immediately.
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